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Doran Lamb
Top Writer in Mental Health + Psychology + Health. Acute observer of the stigma surrounding mental health and addiction, particularly for women and mothers.

(Last updated 3rd July)

Hey! Thanks for stopping by, and do stay a while…

I write on Medium mainly about addiction, sobriety, female equality, relationships, and sex. I am also an editor on the wonderful publication Beautiful Hangover.

Connect with me on Twitter or email doranlamb(at)

These are my top-performing stories:

Here are all my articles…

…on addiction and sobriety

…on writing

…on equality for women

…on relationships and sex

random other topics that I probably shouldn’t have written about

…and ones where I try to be funny.

Thanks for reading and clapping and everything that you do.

Did I tell you lately that…

It’s not a wholly positive experience

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Why do people share their deepest darkest secrets online?

The internet has given everyone with a smartphone a voice, and the impact has been unprecedented.

#Metoo, trolling and the in-depth truths that many of us share daily with strangers through blogs and podcasts are undeniably a result of the relative anonymity the internet has provided us with. I am fascinated by this phenomenon and have written on multiple occasions exploring why we do this.

There are undeniable benefits, particularly the validation we can receive, but of course, there is always a negative impact that must be considered. …

This can help reduce the pain and protect yourself.

Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

It wasn’t a particularly memorable date. So much so that I can barely remember where we went or what we did.

It’s most likely that we drank wine at various bars around Soho whilst exchanging the usual chat about jobs and families. I know we caught the tube from Tottenham Court Road to our separate homes. We parted in the ever-flowing stream of bodies, jolting and jimmying at the escalators. I took the Northern Line, him the Central.

I knew I would never see him again.

Maybe it was the last glass of wine, but when he pulled my jacket…

Not many abuse victims admit this side effect

girl with face lying on arms looking contemplative
girl with face lying on arms looking contemplative
Photo by Khoa Võ from Pexels

At dinner the other night I had to explain what gaslighting was to a friend. I couldn’t help but be shocked but also jealous that she had managed to get to 40 years old without knowing gaslighting.

How innocent, but also how lucky she is.

Gaslighting has been at the core of my most fundamental relationships. My father is a covert narcissist and I grew up without knowing my own mind. I just followed whatever he said like a blind sheep. I looked for his advice and praise and couldn’t separate myself from him. He was my idol. I wanted…

How to butt f**k with consent

Women lying face down on bed looking at camera
Women lying face down on bed looking at camera
Photo by Molly Champion from Pexels

I guess many rapes occur after a night out involving alcohol. I can’t remember the night out, somewhere with friends, somewhere late, but I’ll never forget what happened when we got home.

We were in the honeymoon phase, so we’d fuck for hours. After arriving home from our night out, that was what happened. At some point we were on all fours, and he began to show interest in my butt, I said no, I don’t want that, please don’t. But he didn’t listen and just kept going, even though I was clearly in pain.

I guess he enjoyed the…

I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt like hell

Photo by Isis França on Unsplash

Last night, after dinner with a girlfriend, we decided to go for a quick drink at our local Italian restaurant before home.

I didn’t recognize the group already stationed outside until the man shouted my name, and then I realized two of the group were my ex and his new girlfriend.

His new, young, cute girlfriend.

The one he wanted to meet who he could convince not to have kids.

I’ve never met her before and yes she was cute. She was relatively quiet and unsure of herself in a way that women in their early twenties can sometimes be.

What went wrong?

woman in bed holding a vibrator
woman in bed holding a vibrator
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

For the Swedes, the reason female self-pleasure is taboo is due to language. And I can totally see their point. Men joke about wanking all the time. It’s socially acceptable. And they have a ton of words for it. Many that describe the stroking of a dick.

Jerk off. Jack off. Beat the meat. Toss yourself off. Spank the monkey.

Women on the other hand have few words for self-pleasure.

Flick the bean. Mildly nauseating and as Lucy Mangan pointed out, some men have taken this literally and it is NOT hot. Jo Brand helpfully suggested, gusset typing. Which although…

The rewards can be incredible but don’t blindly jump in

Woman with men in hand writing and looking in to the distance thinking
Woman with men in hand writing and looking in to the distance thinking
Photo by Anna Alexes from Pexels

‘Such is life: it becomes warm and then cools, it tightens then loosens, it settles and then jolts. What it asks of us is courage.’

— João Guimarães Rosa

Finding the courage to speak openly about a mental health diagnosis can be incredibly empowering. Realizing your potential to help others and challenge stigma can feel like the missing piece in the recovery puzzle and is what drives many in recovery to write openly. However, before you hit publish, there are some facts you should consider.

It’s different for celebrities

There are many celebrities who have decided to become mental health ambassadors in the last…

#8 Only men can get blue balls

Photo by DAVIDCOHEN on Unsplash

On the face of things, attitudes and expectations around sex have changed dramatically in the last twenty years. But how much of that has actually filtered down to the ground and real-life relationships?

I have a couple of male friends who I acquired whilst a regular fixture in the beers after work crew. As a result, I am privy to their chat. And there are still a lot of misconceptions around women and sex that I’m surprised to hear. Whilst I’m not suggesting in this article that all men hold the following viewpoints, I have encountered these on multiple occasions.

#1 Men cheat more than women.

It’s got nothing to do with the money

Photo by Katt Yukawa on Unsplash

If you didn’t know Shannon Ashley needs a life-saving operation. And if you don’t know her, she’s a writer and a single parent who has worked her ass off to become a top writer on Medium.

The operation she needs is not fun. And her condition is quite honestly shocking. You should spend 5 minutes reading about her struggle with Lipedema and her late diagnosis. The fact that she has lived with this for so long means she deserves massive f**king respect. …

Doran Lamb

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