I Published an Article by Accident. Then Deleted it Before I Could Copy it.

Basically, today i completely messed up.

It was a really s**ty start to the day. I have had two days in hospital. The good news is I don’t have liver cancer. So, technically it should have been better but returning home today still felt urgh. I felt ten years older. I noticed the cracks in the plaster, the walls that need a fresh coat of paint and my dry hands that felt like they belonged to someone else.

Everything felt wrong.

I sat tense and hunched at my desk eating those chocolate praline shells, hoping the sugar would somehow sew my mind back together.

There’s a piece that’s been clambering for attention the last couple of weeks.

It’s a tough one to write though.

All about another parent, an ex- family friend and his misogynistic crap but I just couldn’t work out how to tell the story. Every time I wrote it I sounded angry.

This is because I am still angry. Angry at him but mainly angry at myself for tolerating his sexist bulls**t. I really didn’t handle it very well.

Anyway. I spent hours today writing a first draft, ready to edit. But I wasn’t happy with it. It sounded clunky.