This could be a description of me. I am 38 and I still go back and forth with my parents. I have got to the point where I feel like you then gone back again. The problem is that by labelling ones one parents so, there is a deep guilt attached to it. Of course this is another sign of the co dependance and narcissism. But it does make you feel guilty right? I remember saying to my mum that in therapy I had revisited my dads anger issues and she literally blew up, like we are the reason for your issues…I keep a distance as much as I can but I feel guilt tripped into a lot and I have so much self hatred for even thinking of them so. I know that I grew up without the right kind of love. I know that but admitting it even after so much therapy for me is as painful as experiencing it again. Well done tor writing this, it’s incredibly accurate and your honesty and depth of reflection is admirable and I hope can help others