This is not a grey area, this is someone talking about what kind of man she is attracted to. This also requires communication and understanding. You shouldn't ever presume that this is what someone wants without asking them first. Different relationships, different contexts. Isn't it better to try and understand first if someone wants this behaviour during sex before charging in. As a woman it's easy to say that you want things to be different, and a man may not be comfortable with that. Everyone has boundaries and it's important to listen to them and respect them.