What a truly horrible situation however try and believe that this can be overcome but only if you stuck together. Your wife lashed out, a little, I personally know that many parents do the same, although hitting a child is now seen as a bad thing to do and is in many countries unlawful. It has absolutely not stopped. I know for instance that Pia Melody, the famous psychologist actually says it’s ok...until the age of 5. It’s a very contentious situation. Please please I beg of you do not be angry with your wife, she is being vilified enough. Life is hard enough. She needs your love and support right now. People make mistakes. She made a mistake. One that she admitted to. Work together to see how you can make her situation easier so that she doesn’t feel like that is an option again. Good luck, really my heart goes out to you.