Yes Tony, Life on life’s terms. Maybe that’s from AA, I seem to have internalized many of their top sayings. Having to actually deal with stuff without our favourite crutch is difficult, to begin with. I do feel like this got easier, but having to own sobriety publically is at times difficult….people have such internalized views about alcoholics and addicts. Sounds like you're doing great, there are ups and downs like everything in life, ultimately drinking would only make those worse but it’s accepting that even without drinking it’s still not easy. Our personalities don’t magically change overnight!